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All About Me! by Mel Brooks review – constant corpsing

The comedian and film-maker seems oblivious to his best material in an uneven life story in need of a punchline or two

Mel Brooks is the last comic in the world you can imagine wanting to be Hamlet – although, of course, that role is just another way of getting all the attention. He did play a Shakespearean actor in a 1983 remake of Ernst Lubitsch’s comedy To Be Or Not to Be, but otherwise the Danish you’re most likely to associate with Brooks is the kind you buy in a deli. Now 95, the comedian, screenwriter and director of such beloved spoofs as Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein and Silent Movie has written his autobiography. As the title might suggest, All About Me! is very much the work of the man who, as a young Jewish comic in the Borscht Belt resorts, got his break as a “pool tummler” (Yiddish for “entertainer”), his job to keep the guests happy and alert, and stop them falling asleep round the swimming pool.

Born Melvin Kaminsky, Brooks grew up in working-class Brooklyn, the youngest of four brothers, whose father died when he was two. There’s a priceless opening shtick about seeing Frankenstein as a boy, and worrying that the monster would get him; his mother reassured him that it would have to shlep all the way from Transylvania, find its way to get to South Third Street, then probably eat the Rothsteins downstairs first. The other childhood stuff is fairly mundane: memories of uncle Lee and religious fanatic Louie from Minsk, “clotheslines full of wet wash” and tributes to his mother, “a true heroine”.

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Lisa Nandy backs Keir Starmer over Labour reshuffle rift

New shadow levelling up secretary says ‘gaffer picks the team’ amid anger from Angela Rayner allies over reshuffle

The new shadow levelling up secretary, Lisa Nandy, has dismissed a rift between Keir Starmer and Angela Rayner on Tuesday, saying the Labour leader had a right to make the calls on how he chose his frontbench.

Nandy said she saw her new role as being “to deliver on the broken promises of the last 11 years” and said there was a “hell of a lot to do” in the department of levelling up, housing, communities, and local government.

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Buzz off: David Attenborough intervenes after Adelaide shopping centre bee plaque misquotes him

Local conservationist recognises ‘honeybee propaganda’ beside mural before writing to famed British naturalist

A suburban South Australian shopping centre has created a buzz after it falsely attributed a quote about bees, written on a plaque in a bathroom hallway, to the famous British naturalist Sir David Attenborough.

The plaque, labelled “honeybee propaganda”, has now been removed after Attenborough himself intervened.

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Doctors and unions join bereaved families to highlight issues for Covid inquiry

British Medical Association and Trades Unions Congress add to calls for No 10 to step up preparations

Doctors and trade unions have joined forces with families bereaved by Covid to highlight issues ranging from border controls to the supply of face masks that they want addressed by next year’s public inquiry into the UK’s handling of the pandemic.

The British Medical Association, Trades Union Congress, the Independent Sage group of scientists and human rights campaigners are presenting a united front with Covid-19 Bereaved Families for Justice to increase pressure on Downing Street to step up preparations for the inquiry.

Pandemic preparations

Public health measures

Support for NHS staff, hospitals and care homes

Border controls

PPE and procurement

Vulnerable households

111 services

Support for frontline workers

Inequalities related to race, disability and regions

Differences between devolved nations

Prisons and immigration centres

Migrants and refugees and the homeless.

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The rising cost of the climate crisis in flooded South Sudan – in pictures

Families facing severe hunger are wading through crocodile-infested waters in search of water lilies to eat. Susan Martinez and photographer Peter Caton return with Action Against Hunger to find that the dire situation they reported on in March has only worsened

Desperate families in flood-ravaged villages in South Sudan are spending hours searching for water lilies to eat after another summer of intense rainfall worsened an already dire situation.

People have no food and no land to cultivate after three years of floods. Fields are submerged in last year’s flood water and higher ground is overcrowded with hungry people, in what is quickly becoming a humanitarian crisis.

Nyanyang Tong, 39, on her way to the Action Against Hunger centre with her one-year-old son, Mamuch Gatkuoth, in Paguir

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I consider myself polyamorous – but my girlfriend finds this hard to accept

She wants us to be faithful to one another, and I want her to feel loved and valued. But I also want more for myself

I’m a man in my early 20s and I’ve been in a stable, loving, monogamous relationship with my girlfriend since we were in secondary school. While she is fully aware of my bisexuality (and seems completely fine with this), I would also consider myself polyamorous – which she finds much harder to accept. I frequently have strong sexual and romantic feelings for other people, which I once brought up with her in an attempt to be as open as possible. I wanted to emphasise that this did not detract from my feelings for her. She was initially (and understandably) upset, but seemed happy to stay with me as long as we remained “faithful” to each other. This leaves me in a situation where we are happy together, but where I am left feeling incomplete. I have never been in a serious relationship or had sex with anyone except my girlfriend. The whole world of casual sex and dating is alien to me. I want her to feel as loved and valued as she deserves, but I want more for myself, too. I don’t know whether to feel greedy and ungrateful, repressed and frustrated, or all of these things at once.

Labels can scare people, especially if they do not truly understand what they mean. You are both in the very early stages of your sexual journeys, so it could be useful to recognise that you have a lifetime of adult exploration and experimentation ahead of you. Clarification is important. Ideally, you might share more of your thoughts and feelings about your sexual styles and identity with each other, but be careful to do it in a non-threatening way, always affirming your positive general feelings for each other. Try to clearly express your own feelings and beliefs about who you are sexually – taking into account that, while you can be very sure about your sexual orientation quite early in life, when it comes to sexual styles there can be a meaningful difference between fantasy and what you are prepared to act out in reality. Encourage her to express her feelings about whatever you share, and listen carefully to any concerns she might have about your compatibility.

Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders.

If you would like advice from Pamela on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns to private.lives@theguardian.com (please don’t send attachments). Each week, Pamela chooses one problem to answer, which will be published online. She regrets that she cannot enter into personal correspondence. Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions: see gu.com/letters-terms.

Comments on this piece are premoderated to ensure discussion remains on topics raised by the writer. Please be aware there may be a short delay in comments appearing on the site.

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Covid-19: how worried should we be about Omicron? | podcast

Last week, a new variant of Covid-19 was detected by scientists in South Africa. Since then, additional cases have been reported beyond southern Africa, including Belgium, Canada, Israel, Australia and the UK. And with the WHO warning that the Omicron variant poses a very high global risk, scientists around the world are scrambling to uncover clues about its transmissibility and how effective the current coronavirus vaccines will be against it.

To find out what we do know about Omicron and what it could mean for the coming weeks and months, Madeleine Finlay spoke to the Guardian’s science editor, Ian Sample.

Archive: BBC; DW News; CBC News; Global News; CNBC Television

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As an obstetrician, here's my advice to pregnant women: get your vaccine and stay safe | Lucy Chappell

New data from England shows that of those pregnant women in hospital with Covid, 98% are unvaccinated

  • Lucy Chappell is the chief scientific adviser for the Department of Health and Social Care

As an obstetrician, I know first-hand the highs and lows that women experience when having a baby. It can be hugely rewarding for many and a daunting experience for some. Over the past months, the pandemic has added a great deal of uncertainty to the experience of pregnant women and those considering becoming parents.

We know how dangerous the virus can be for pregnant women. The data published over recent months has been heartbreaking. Between July and October in England, one in five Covid patients receiving NHS treatment through a special lung-bypass machine were pregnant women who had not had their first jab. Around one in five women who are hospitalised with the virus need to be delivered preterm to help them recover – and one in five of their babies need care in the neonatal unit. New data from England shows that of those pregnant women in hospital with Covid, 98% are unvaccinated.

Lucy Chappell is a chief scientific adviser for the Department of Health and Social Care and honorary consultant obstetrician at Guy’s and St Thomas’ NHS Foundation Trust

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Covid tracers in Omicron case seek contacts from more than week ago

Essex council’s focus on visitors to KFC branch on 19 November raises questions over how long variant has been in country

Officials investigating one of the first cases in the UK of the Omicron coronavirus variant are searching for potential contacts as far back as nine days ago, raising questions over how long the new variant has been in the country.

Essex county council said targeted testing was focused on customers, staff and delivery drivers at a branch of the KFC fast food chain in Brentwood on 19 November and those who attended a church two days later.

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Premier League: 10 talking points from the weekend’s action

Ralf Rangnick has plenty to consider, Eberechi Eze needs time and Watford may have a goalscorer to give hope

The good news for Ralf Rangnick is that no manager, whoever it might be, could possibly extract less from Manchester United’s squad than has been the case over the last few months. Ole Gunnar Solskjær was rightly held responsible for this – though it is worth noting that had Harry Maguire and Luke Shaw given him performances that were as good as poor, he would still have a job. In any event, a difficult run for United ends with Arsenal on Thursday, after which they face an easier programme that should, in theory, leave them well-placed to secure a top-four finish. The decision Rangnick must make is whether to change as little as possible and simply improve what’s there – the lower-risk, lower-reward option – or introduce further complexity into an already busy period by introducing the style in which he wants United to play as soon as possible, in the knowledge that it might make things worse before they get better. Daniel Harris

Match report: Chelsea 1-1 Manchester United

Match report: Brentford 1-0 Everton

Match report: Arsenal 2-0 Newcastle

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Remote hand of Rangnick already in play as Ronaldo feels the chill | Barney Ronay

Manchester United’s new interim manager would have been watching closely as his soon-to-be players did their auditions at Stamford Bridge

As Cristiano Ronaldo prepared to come on to the pitch with an hour gone at Stamford Bridge, having already performed a dutiful kind of warm-up, idling along the touchline like a venerable old don taking a stroll on the chamomile lawns, a large book of laminated diagrams was waved in front of his nose.

Ronaldo, to his credit, made a decent show of having a look. Two decades into one of the great elite level careers, CR7 is not too proud for your diagrams. But there might have been a temptation to grab that folder and scour the hand written notes, to look for a sign, a prognosis of his own future in this mid-season revolution.

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One thing is certain as a football manager: you will get sacked | Josh Gowling

A spate of top-flight departures shows the lack of job security but the pressure is even more intense in the lower leagues

The reality for every manager is that you will get sacked at some point in your career, but that does not stop you feeling sorry for colleagues when you see it happen to them. You learn very quickly that it is starkly different to life as a player: a run of sub-par performances on the pitch might see you dropped to the bench, but if you’re the guy in the technical area then every bad period of results ramps up that feeling of uncertainty.

It has been a brutal spell for some managers in the Premier League recently, culminating in Ole Gunnar Solskjær’s departure from Manchester United, and that gives you food for thought. You look at your own situation when you see others losing their jobs: you realise you are fortunate but also understand how quickly that can change.

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Diego Martínez: ‘I saw English football and I had to experience it’ | Sid Lowe

Former Granada coach has immersed himself in the Premier League and Championship since leaving the Spanish club

“There were almost tears in my eyes, bloody hell,” Diego Martínez says. “Friday night, the first game I’d been at with fans for 18 months. Brentford-Arsenal, back in the top division after 70-something years. Everyone singing Hey Jude, a cappella. Just the walk to the ground, the tube. The people. That’s where it started. Tottenham – Totnúm, no? – Chelsea, West Ham, Watford. Fulham, taking photos of it all. Those wooden seats, by the river. Wonderful. Everton, Liverpool, Man City, United …”

Four months earlier, Martínez had taken Granada to Old Trafford to face Manchester United, leading them from the second division to a first appearance in Europe and reaching the quarter-finals of the Europa League. But this time was different: this time the stadium was full and, having decided to take a step back in the summer, now he sat in the stands not on the bench. What does a manager actually do when he’s not working? A question starts a conversation but doesn’t necessarily end it, and if there’s something that emerges it is not just him, it is us. And, the Spaniard insists, there is still something about English football.

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‘It looks like fresh sewage!’: We taste test Christmas dinner flavoured foods – from soup and crisps to sarnies

The world is awash with products flavoured like the festive feast, whether you fancy turkey in your gyoza or on your pizza. Are any actually nice to eat?

Something has gone badly, wildly wrong in the world of Christmas cuisine. Where Christmas dinner used to be a once-a-year extravagance, the concept has become nebulous and all-encompassing. “Christmas dinner” is no longer a meal – it is a flavour, spread indiscriminately across every foodstuff imaginable in a desperate bid to seize upon good cheer.

There have long been Christmas dinner sandwiches, but now we also have Christmas dinner crisps, Christmas dinner pizza, Christmas dinner pasties, Christmas dinner soup. And, while the thought of someone sullenly microwaving a bowl of Christmas soup barefoot in their kitchen between Zoom calls on a Thursday in November is genuinely the most dispiriting thing you could think of, it is possible that some of these products are actually good. There’s only one thing for it: time to put on a novelty jumper and try them all at once.

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Nurdles: the worst toxic waste you’ve probably never heard of

Billions of these tiny plastic pellets are floating in the ocean, causing as much damage as oil spills, yet they are still not classified as hazardous

When the X-Press Pearl container ship caught fire and sank in the Indian Ocean in May, Sri Lanka was terrified that the vessel’s 350 tonnes of heavy fuel oil would spill into the ocean, causing an environmental disaster for the country’s pristine coral reefs and fishing industry.

Classified by the UN as Sri Lanka’s “worst maritime disaster”, the biggest impact was not caused by the heavy fuel oil. Nor was it the hazardous chemicals on board, which included nitric acid, caustic soda and methanol. The most “significant” harm, according to the UN, came from the spillage of 87 containers full of lentil-sized plastic pellets: nurdles.

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Florence Nightingale’s lamp and coded wartime quilt star in new Red Cross museum

Previously unseen treasures from the charity’s history on the frontline are going on permanent display at its London HQ

A quilt stitched with coded messages by allied female prisoners of war and a lamp believed to have been used by Florence Nightingale are among the “objects of kindness” that are to go on display for the first time this week.

Locked away in the archives of the Red Cross for decades, the rare artefacts bear witness to the kindness and resilience of women in wartime and have never been seen by the public. Now they will be exhibited by the Red Cross when the charity opens a museum at its headquarters in London on Wednesday.

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House of Gucci review – Lady Gaga steers a steely path through the madness

Gaga rules in Ridley Scott’s at times ridiculous drama based on the true-life sagas of the Italian fashion dynasty

“The most Gucci of them all” is how Patrizia Reggiani described herself in a 2014 interview and, judging by this entertainingly ripe, comedically tinged tragedy, she has a point. Variously known as “Lady Gucci” and “Black Widow”, Reggiani became the centre of a very 1990s scandal involving lust, money, fashion, murder… and a clairvoyant. To that tabloid-friendly cocktail, Ridley Scott’s latest “true story” potboiler adds a dash of pop superstardom, with Lady Gaga (Oscar- nominated for her close-to-home performance in A Star Is Born) relishing the chance to find the human cracks beneath a larger-than-life, femme fatale surface.

Adapted by screenwriters Becky Johnston and Roberto Bentivegna from the nonfiction book by Sara Gay Forden, House of Gucci charts a crowd-pleasing course from the Milanese party scene of the 1970s to a high-profile, end-of-the-century trial. At its heart is the doomed romance between Patrizia and Maurizio Gucci, the latter played behind stylishly studious glasses by cinema’s sexy nerd de nos jours, Adam Driver. “I want to see how this story goes,” says Patrizia, embarking upon a twisted fairytale romance with the grandson of Guccio Gucci that starts with masked balls and talk of midnight chimes and pumpkins and ends with family back-stabbings, jealous rages and deadly rivalries.

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Boris Johnson strains to remain upbeat as new Omicron variant forces rapid crackdown

PM ‘confident’ that this Christmas will be better than the last as he announces a wave of fresh measures

Less than a week ago, cabinet minister Nadhim Zahawi took to the airwaves to predict that such was the progress of the vaccine programme, Britain would be the first big country to use vaccines to end the pandemic. Hours after he made those comments, scientists 9,000 miles away detected a worrying Covid variant that , just days later, prompted Boris Johnson to announce emergency measures that he had hoped would never be reintroduced.

The speed at which Omicron’s initial discovery has led to the detection of cases around the world and the imposition of new restrictions has been startling. It is also a sign of desperation in Downing Street to avoid a lapse back into more severe restrictions, such as those the prime minister was forced to introduce – with great reluctance – last Christmas.

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Scientists sharing Omicron data were heroic. Let’s ensure they don’t regret it | Jeffrey Barrett

The teams in Africa who detected the new Covid genome moved quickly. Their actions should not result in economic loss
Coronavirus – latest updates
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One of the positive experiences during two years of pandemic gloom has been the speed of scientific progress in understanding and treating Covid. Many effective vaccines were launched in less than a year and rapid large-scale trials found a cheap and effective drug, dexamethasone, that saved thousands of lives.

The global scientific community has also carried out “genomic surveillance” – sequencing the genome of the virus to track how it evolves and spreads at an unprecedented level: the public genome database has more than 5.5m genomes. The great value of that genomic surveillance, underpinned by a commitment to rapid and open sharing of the data by all countries in near-real time, has been seen in the last few days as we’ve learned of the Covid variant called Omicron.

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Cloudy Glen wins Ladbrokes Trophy Chase in Trevor Hemmings’ colours

  • Charlie Deutsch’s ride holds off Fiddlerontheroof’s late charge
  • Epatante and Not So Sleepy dead-heat in Fighting Fifth Hurdle

The green, yellow and white colours of Trevor Hemmings, who died last month, have been a constant thread in National Hunt racing for nearly four decades and the former owner’s “friends”, as he liked to call them, continue to honour his memory on the track.

Cloudy Glen, a 33-1 shot trained by Venetia Williams, became the latest big-race winner in the Hemmings silks in the Ladbrokes Trophy Chase here on Saturday, staying on strongly to hold the late challenge of Fiddlerontheroof by half a length. His performance embodied the courage and stamina Hemmings always hoped to see in one of his chasers.

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Comedian Munya Chawawa: ‘People think I blew up in lockdown, but I’ve been doing this for years’

He skewered Matt Hancock with his brilliant viral video ‘It wasn’t me’, and he’s behind a host of other highly contagious parodies. Munya Chawawa tells Sirin Kale why this is the moment he’s long been dreaming of

The comedian Munya Chawawa is all eyebrows and incredible ambition. “I love the idea of being indelible, of leaving a mark on the world,” he says. “I can’t process the idea of leaving it without having left something, you know?” He’s bundled in a multicoloured fleece in a quiet corner of a south London pub – softly spoken, respectful, a little intense. In person, his famously abundant eyebrows – which Chawawa describes in his Instagram bio as “erotic” – do not disappoint.

Chawawa is best known for his satirical Twitter videos, which skewer trending news stories from Squid Game to Matt Hancock’s extramarital affair, and often feature recurring characters, including racist newsreader Barty Crease, culturally appropriating TV chef Jonny Oliver, and posh drill rapper Unknown P. (“How many times did I bunk off Latin,” he intones in one deathless rap, “to run a man down in Clapham.”)

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The 20 best gadgets of 2021

From smartphones to folding skis, the year’s top gizmos selected by tech experts from the Guardian, iNews, TechRadar and Wired

Cutting-edge tech is often super-expensive, difficult to use and less than slick. Not so for Samsung’s latest folding screen phones. The Z Fold 3 tablet-phone hybrid and Z Flip 3 flip-phone reinventions are smooth, slick and even water-resistant, packing big screens in compact bodies. The Fold might be super-expensive still, but the Flip 3 costs about the same as a regular top smartphone, but is far, far more interesting. Samuel Gibbs

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Monty Panesar: ‘My message to British Asian players is focus on your cricket’

Ex-England spinner on the Azeem Rafiq racism scandal, the highs and lows of being a cult figure and his own mental health battles

“I liked your article on Azeem Rafiq,” Monty Panesar tells me with a glint in his eye before we have even sat down. “But I want to challenge it.” Always nice to meet a reader. Albeit, these days Panesar has something of a vocational interest. He is still best remembered as one of England’s greatest modern spinners, with 167 Test wickets and a broad popular appeal based not just on his talent but his sheer enthusiasm for the game.

The fall was sharp, and often painful, and though he maintains he is still good enough to play county cricket, he has begun to map out the next chapter of his life, taking the first steps towards a career in journalism.

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